#okay just realizing that i first watched this when i was in grade 6 and he was in grade 6 at the start of everything
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my english classes involving film studies that do not have to be about different films guaranteed my teacher knowing every single thought i have about a silent voice btw
#june shines#june enlightenment#trying to think of another media i want to talk about for this assignment and i am struggling#hahahahahahhahahhahha#āwhat character from a story reminds you of yourselfā well you see#there's this guy shoya#okay just realizing that i first watched this when i was in grade 6 and he was in grade 6 at the start of everything#and now i'm about to graduate and he was also like. in high school#like um#idk where i'm going with this.#aging is scary
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You can study me
Sero hanta smau
volley-ball player sero x art student fem!reader, no quirks au, college au.
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a/n before you go on! there's going to be more pictures throughout this part, so when you see the divider (yellow line), stop and go back to the reading part :)
Senior year is finally here! You thought that this time, the teachers would be more lenient with you and your classmates, but not at all. In fact, they even got stricter... They assigned you a half year-long work, which would be worth 30% of your final grade. What does the work consist of, you ask? Making a complete study of the life of a student you need to pick and paint it.
But... you can't pick a friend.
Part.5 ā¢ Part 7
Part 6
Ever since he sent you that message youāve been anxious of what he had in mind. You couldnāt stop thinking about it and hated that you had to wait the whole weekend for it.
He hasnāt texted you since and your head was overflowing with scenarios.
āI think I'm going to go insaneā you say groaning as you walk in the kitchen where the girls were cooking together.
āItās going to be fine you drama queen. Itās not the first time you hang out without any plansā Himiko says while chopping vegetables.
You cross your arms and lean on the doorframe. āBut it feels like it's more than this, he hasnāt even texted me sinceā you retort.
Throwing your head back with another groan, you approach the counter and take a piece of cut cucumber.
āListen, itās Hanta okay. Thereās nothing to worry aboutā Mina comes up to you and puts her hand on your shoulders. āSo stop your drama, and weāll soon clear your mind with our little girl time mmhā she tilts her head with a reassuring smile.
You sigh and laugh. āYouāre right, now that I admitted that I liked him, I've been overthinking every small thing he doesā¦ā
āSo you do still have some sense left in youā Ochaco turns to you both with a smirk.
āOh shut upā you roll your eyes. āNow what do you need help withā you ask, rolling your sleeves up.
You and the girls were now having a little party every weekend when you didn't have anything else planned. You cooked and baked together, chose a movie to watch while sipping a glass of wine.
Pretty clichĆ© yes, but donāt clichĆ©s always end up being the best.
At the end of the night, you all go back to your rooms and as you lay down on your bed slightly tipsy, you grab your phone and open your discussion with Hanta and just type.
You
made me anxious whole weekend dumbass
You woke up the next day thankful classes were canceled today, so you could prepare yourself mentally before 6pm came. You were of course excited to spend the evening with him but you just had that weird gut feeling that something was going to happen.
As you slowly got ready, showering, finding a simple and comfortable but still cute outfit, you were left sitting on the couch.
It was only 3pm and you decided to draw some composition ideas for the painting.
āWhat are you working on?ā Ochaco walks in with two cups of hot chocolate, handing one to you. You smile and thank her, sipping on the warm drink.
āTrying out some composition for the painting. Pinpointing where everything is going to be you knowā
āItās ending soon right?ā she asks, seating next to you.
āActually, our teacher realized she may have been too hard on us and gave us the whole year.ā you chuckle.
āWait whatā How come I didn't hear about this?!ā she straightened herself.
āShe sent us an email quite late in the night. Some sense got knocked in her head at 2am I guessā you laugh.
āThatās great! More time with Hantaā she elbows you and chuckles.
āStopā¦ā you say shyly, hiding your face with your hand.
ā
āDo I look good?ā you ask worriedly as you show off your outfit.
āFor the hundredth timeā¦ Yes you look greatā all three of your friends sigh dramatically.
Youāve been running around between your room, the bathroom and the living room to make sure you were looking good. You knew it had to be a simple hang out but couldnāt help the amount of stress you had inside you.
And before you knew it, the sound of the doorbell echoed in your apartment and the girls immediately went into hiding.
You shook your head at their silliness and went to open the door thinking to yourself. This is Hanta, itās going to be fine, nothing is happening.
As you open the door, you see him standing there with a smirk on his face but you could see the crease between his eyebrows, indicating he was nervous.
He looks you up and down and you can see him gulp before taking a breath.
āReady to go?ā
āBeen waiting foreverā you walk out the door and roll your eyes teasingly and he guides you down to his car. Once you get there, he opens the door for you.
āWhat a gentleman we have thereā you tease.
āYou doubted it?ā
āNeverā
After a few minutes he parked his car in front of a quite big building.There was no indicative sign of what the building was, it only had two wide doors in the front. He gets out first and helps you out of the car.
āSo what are we doing?ā
āYouāre so impatient, wait a few more secondsā he ruffles your hair.
āWell if you had texted me, maybe i wouldnāt be so lost. āyour words come out a bit more bitter than you wanted to.
You walk through the reception with him and he grabs your hand and asks you to close your eyes.
āHanta seriouslyā¦ā
āCome on, hermosa just a few more seconds.ā he pouts and you couldnāt resist.
Guiding you through a corridor, he opens the door and you can feel the breeze hitting you again in the face. He stops and walks behind you.
āYou can open your eyes nowā
You take a deep breath and open your eyes. You are greeted by an empty ice skating rink. No one, absolutely no one was here. Small lights were hanging all around the rink, you could hear a song quietly in the background that you recognise to be Just like Heaven by The Cure.
You turn your head to Hanta, mouth agape. You had no idea what to say, did he set everything up himself. Did he ask to privatize the whole ice rink for you two?
āHanta thisā¦this is absolutely crazy. Didā did you do that all by yourself?ā you ask.
āWell Iāve had help but it was my idea yeahā¦ā he rubs his neck nervously. āYou like it?ā
āLike it? Hanta I love it! This is incredibleā you ran to his arms hugging him. Heās taken back but hugs you back almost instantly.
After breaking the embrace, he grabs your hand again.
āShall we?ā
āWe shall.ā
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You donāt think youāve ever had that much fun before. This was truly like something out of a movie. You and Hanta were both skating for god knows how long, dancing along to the playlist he had made for the occasion and you couldnāt help but fall even more for the boy.
How could you not honestly. Heās all you had ever dreamed of and he keeps showing you that everyday. As you hold hands you canāt help but have a constant smile on your face.
Hanta kept glancing at you and his eyes softened anytime you looked at him with that sparkle in your eyes or with that pretty smile of yours. He keeps going back to the day you first met and how everything had evolved between the two of you ever since.
All thanks to that assignment you had been given. He never felt luckier than right now.
He spins you around just to hear that laugh he wishes to hear for the rest of his life. And as you continued to skate around, he let go of your hand and you slid away, without realizing he wasnāt by your side anymore.
The lights suddenly shut off but came back a second later, less bright this time. As you turn around, you see Hanta a bit further away from you and the song changes.
Canāt Take My Eyes of You by Frankie Valli begins playing at a low volume and you hide your face in your hands trying to hold in your chuckle and the warmth that was spreading to your cheeks.
Surely this wasnāt real right, you had to be dreaming.
When you look back up, Hanta was right in front of you. A dorky smile is present on his face as he holds a bouquet of flowers tightly in his hands.
You canāt help the wobbly smile that spreads across your face as you both stare at each other before Hanta begins talking.
āFirst of all Iām sorry for not texting you at all this weekend. I may have been as nervous as you and maybe even more because I wanted everything to be perfect.ā He chuckles and you continue smiling at him.
āFuck..uhā he struggled to find words when you looked at him like that.
āI donāt think I can hide how I feel anymore. Ever since we first met, youāve been the only thing on my mind and I only wanted to get to know you more. The more time we spent together, the more this feeling grew.ā he looks down before looking back up.
āYou brighten up every single one of my days andā¦ā he stops for a moment but you continue looking at him adoringly. Heart beating fast you think it might get out of your chest. It seems like time had stopped before he continued.
āI love you y/nā¦ Te amo querida.ā
You feel your eyes getting wet so you take your hand to wipe them away but you suddenly feel Hantaās hand caress your cheek and wipe a falling tear with his thumb.
āYou okay?ā he asks worried.
You nod reassuringly. āNever been more okay.ā
āI love you too Hantaā you respond back through a half chuckle and sob.
He softly puts down the bouquet before wrapping his arms around your waist, taking you off the ground and spinning you around. Surprising you as he still had his ice skates on. He puts you back on the ground and asks.
āCan I kiss you?ā
āOf course you idiotā
I love you baby and if itās quite alright I need you babyā¦
His hands held both of your cheeks tenderly before he plants his lips on yours. You were quick to wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer to you.
One of his hands slowly moved to wrap itself around your waist. Your mouths moving slowly in a perfect tender rhythm. He couldnāt pull away, you were too sweet for that. And as you moved your hands into his hair he felt like he was in heaven. You pulled away for a second to breathe and chuckle at your flushed faces before his lips found their way back to yours.
Snow was falling all around you and as the slow kisses turned fast you both got lost in the moment.
His lips finally parted from yours after a while. Panting and heavy breaths were all you were hearing as you looked at each other.
āDoes that mean Iām yours mi amorā he breaks the silence.
āWhat do you thinkā¦ā
āI donāt know, maybe it was just a friendly kiss.ā he jokes.
āOh youāre such an idiot. I hate youā
āYou know you love meā he grins, pulling you closer if that was even possible.
āYes. Yes I doā
ā
After that, he wanted to immortalize this day. So Hanta brought you to the nearest photo booth and had you both take the cutest pictures ever.
āCome on this is going to be funā he urges you.
You take off your coats and begin posing. You laugh and make the silliest faces. Bringing his face to yours, you pepper his cheek with kisses.
He drives you back to the apartment and both of you couldnāt keep your hands to yourself. You were still in his car, the only difference was that you were now sitting on his lap.
The kisses grew deeper and he couldnāt let go of you. He became obsessed the moment he had a taste of you. You tug slightly at his hair as you feel him bite your bottom lip before going back to kiss your already swollen lips.
āHantaā¦ā you whisper when you pull back from him.
āYes mi vidaā¦ā He places soft kisses at the nape of your neck, eyes not leaving yours.
āItās getting late. I should goā you caress his cheek.
āAlreadyā¦what time is it?ā He reaches for his phone and reads the time. 11:05pm.
Hanta groans and settles his head on your chest as you begin playing with his hair. Staying in that position for a few more minutes before you plant a small kiss on his head and get back to the passenger seat.
You put your coat back on and hear Hanta open his door. You get ready to get out with the bouquet in your hands but he beats you to it and opens your door before bending down and wrapping his arms behind your back and knees.
āHanta, what are youāā you make a small noise as he slightly adjusts you on his arms.
He closes the car door with his legs and locks it.
āUp you goā he smiles down at you and you roll your eyes.
He takes you up the stairs and to your front door. He sets you down and you search for your keys.
āThank you for today Hantaā you say, opening the door quietly.
You set the bouquet on the table before turning back to him.
āIāll see you soonā you wrap your arms around his shoulders and plant a sweet kiss on his lips one last time.
āDream of me amorā he winks at you and steals another kiss before making his way to the stairs. You begin to turn around but stop yourself in your tracks when you see him kissing his hand and sending the ākissā to you.
You chuckle quietly and mimic grabbing the kiss and planting it on your cheek and watch him smile like a little kid. Only then you truly go back to your apartment and close the door with a smile on your face.
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a/n i finished this at 2 am...i'm going to sleep hope you enjoy this longer part!
#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#sero hanta x reader#sero x reader#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#mina ashido#denki kaminari#mha smau#bnha smau#ochaco uraraka#toga himiko#kirishima eijirou#mha x reader
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IMAGINE Having miles suprise you by crawling into your room invisible since you guys are long distance- aka live in other dimensions ugh I need to touch some grass
Bonus points if you have strict parents so he cuddles you invisible
Wait this is actually so cute I'm obsessed š I want him so badly istg he seems like he'd be the perfect boyfriend
ā§ Ė ćĀ· ćć .MASTERLIST ā§ Ė ćĀ· ćć . TAGLIST ā§ Ė ćĀ· ćć .
It'd been approximately 4 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours and 57- no, 58 minutes since you'd last seen your boyfriend, Miles Morales. Not that you were counting or anything.
You missed him.
Having an S/O that lived in another dimension definitely had its consequences, with the two of you almost never getting to see each other. Even though you had watches and could travel to each other's homes whenever you wanted, the responsibility of being Spider-man came first, and because of that it made it difficult for the two of you to really make time to see each other.
Then of course, the two of you were also teenagers, forced to attend school and keep up good grades while also shouldering the weight of being literal superheroes. That kind of stuff took a toll on a person. In fact, this particular week had been hard, to the point where you just wanted to curl up in your bed and stare at the pictures of him you had on your phone, silently praying for a chance to see him again.
But you were busy. You had midterms. You had your extracurriculars. You didn't have time.
This particular evening, you'd just arrived home from a late after-school extracurricular and taken a shower, having sat down to start working on your homework for the night when you heard a quiet scratch of the window. You looked back over at the open curtains, seeing nothing. Weird.
But your spider-sense wasn't going off, which meant it was probably nothing. You shrugged to yourself before looking back down at your notes, clutching your forehead in frustration as you tried to grasp the concepts on the sheet of paper.
And then, you watched as a small, bright yellow sunflower drifted down from above you, falling perfectly in your lap. It took a second for you to process the sight before you looked back up, a wide smile spreading across your face. "Hey, sunshine."
"Miles!" You exclaimed as you watched him appear on the ceiling above you, invisibility wearing off. He jumped down, and you immediately jumped up and pulled him into a big hug, leaving the sunflower lying daintily on the floor. "Woah" he let out a soft gasp at how tightly you squeezed him. "I-I can't breathe-" he squeaked out, struggling in your unrelenting grasp.
"I missed you so much." you whispered under your breath, practically burying your face into the soft fabric covering his chest. "Missed you too." he replied softly, arms wrapping around your was it in response to your tight, but welcomed embrace. "You okay? You look tired."
"I'm great." You said, taking a slight step back, looking him up and down with a stupid grin on your face. "I haven't seen you in a while-you look great!" You cringed at your own words, realizing how awkward you seemed.
He chuckled under his breath, lightly smiling back at you, that golden retriever look of his plastered across his face. "You look beautiful as always." He sounded fairly awkward himself, but he was handling it better than you. He pulled you in a little slightly, gently pressing a kiss to the top of your forehead.
Suddenly, both your senses went off. Miles disappeared with a pop, right as your mom entered the room. "Were you talking to someone?" She asked confusedly, looking around. You stood in the middle of the room, hands pinned down to your sides. "No." You lied, giving her a fake smile. "Just studying."
She raised an eyebrow at you before slowly and cautiously closing the door behind her as she left. You let out a sigh of relief, right before you felt your arm being pulled back. Still invisible, Miles pulled you down onto the bed, arms wrapped around your waist as he hugged you.
It was a strange sensation.
"This is so trippy..." you said under your breath. "Huh?" He asked confusedly.
"Nothing." you quickly replied, burying your face in his invisible neck, enjoying the feeling of his warmth spreading around you. "It's a little weird, but this is the easiest way for me to stay here without getting you caught." He laughed, pecking your cheek before leaning in to give you a real kiss, for the first time in a month. You returned it. "Weird is one word for it. But it doesn't matter." you said, shaking it off before snuggling into him.
"I'm just glad you're here."
ā§ Ė ćĀ· ćć .
Taglist: @therealloopylupin2099 @daydreaming-en-pointe @l0starl @niqetine @gwennesy @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @d0ubl-tr0ubl3
#atsv#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#miles morales#spiderman#across the spider verse#beyond the spiderverse#miles morales x you#spiderverse#miles morales x reader#miles morales x y/n#miles morales 1610#miles morales fanfiction#miles x y/n#miles x reader#miles x you#spiderman across the verse#atsv x reader#atsv x you#atsv x y/n#[silvia's asks]
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Scar HC S10E12
actually welcome to Scar Says Sus Stuff
this was supposed to be me talking about my favorite parts or parts I want to share but it's just the sus parts and several things that I specifically liked
like. a rly in depth AO3 comment except with a YouTube video.
spoilers for his video
(I haven't watched most of scar's episodes so far)
-- --
1:01 "grant me access to the hole" scar. scar please. your wording. fix it. but also never change we love you but oh my god SCAR
it is actually triggering me that he's just casually on three hearts. my man PLEASE EAT
3:53 "I'm gonna wait for [Grian] inside of his mouth"
5:38 "well now Skizz and my bits are all mixed together"
6:06 "I fall for it EVERY time, by the way" -Skizz. I love Scar and Skizz, the two gullible-est people bonding over how they're gullible. It's genuinely somehow wholesome.
6:20 "something of substance was gonna come from this"
6:44 SKIZZ COME ON MAN I HAD FAITH IN YOU WHAT THE HECK
6:51 There was PASSION in this. Scar go off on them YEAH
7:33 how did I know he was gonna be one block off. rip scar you tried o7
7:40 "he didn't get inside my hole at all" SCAR.
8:17 "we could get six horns" the word horns sounds like hoards. and also kind of the other word.
8:39 (for one frame) the inside of scars face is cursed
10:17 THAT WAS SMOOTH THAT WAS SO SMOOTH IM OBSESSED??? SCAR YOURE A MAGICIAN. A WIZARD. THAT SNAP. IM OBSESSED.
but also. scar. why do you have a tnt minecart as decoration. scar I don't have high hopes for this room. scar you come from the Life series. scar. it's gonna die. someone's gonna shoot it with a flame bow I guarantee it
10:46 LMAO the way he tried to say cartographer sounds so. like. idk endearing or smth idk. Like he tried to breathe in and talk at the same time.
11:05 "I've just realized I kind of look like a composter" that is the entire clip by the way. all you out of context makers, I need that in there. idk if it'll be as funny as it is in here, because seriously, the delivery of having literally no other context other than it just being a random thought that popped into Scar's head is so funny to me
11:41 scar at the goat horn shop what will he do. I'm not mad scar. I think you're an adult who is making decisions with their fictional money. and you deserve it. you deserve that goat horn.
11:52 I lied put it back
12:44 WAIT YOURE GONNA PUT TURTLES AND DOLPHINS IN HERE THATS SICK I LOVE IT
in seventh grade we did an essay on whether zoos are good or bad and while I do love scars character in this I literally cannot stop thinking about it :(
13:15 SCAR THAT WAS TOO SMOOTH I--OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THATS SUCH A COOL TRANSITION AND ALSO THE SOUND EFFECT OH MY GODSSSSS
ALSO YOU SWIRLED TO SUCH A COOL NEW THING WHAT THE HECK WOW LIKE OKAY
wait oh my god it's a sink?? the water and lava?? oh my god??
14:55 damn Gem and Grian's spike has grown
15:35 scar I don't think you remember where your stuff is in the first place. at least like this it'll look cool. although the underground weird chest monster has character and I actually kinda like it in the same way that I like when my floor is a mess because it just feels inhabited and has personality
15:58 oh my god scar you transition god
16:33 scar why are you there
16:35 Etho I appreciate you LMAO
17:19 Etho have you seen Skizz's storage. it's. bad. like. it is worse than Scar's. Genuinely. It gives me pain.
17:25 THE PEARL DOORS. THE BOATEM PEARL DOORRSSSS also scar going through the middle even tho Etho literally opened the other door for him LMAO
17:32 ah yes dig when there is an entrance yes yes
17:43 honey roofs. I see you're obsessed with Joel's gift mr. slab.
this scene is actually amazing. I've never seen Etho and scar interact 1 on 1 (I don't watch a lot of Scar, and I have watched Etho a total of approximately once. his videos are rly long) and also just. Etho's system is so cool.
also Etho's storage system is adorable :D
I like both storage systems. Etho's is significantly more functional (and less likely to explode, scar that minecart is making me wary) but I really enjoy the aesthetic of Scar's.
thank you for coming to Royal says stuff, go watch scar's video, it's great.
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Might Regret this and delete it later but answering a question about my most traumatic experience made me want to list all the fucked up and just...weird as fuck things that have happened to me. Like I can't sleep til I do this. Maybe it'll be cathartic I dunno:
Tw: Sexual assault, all other assault?
-Age 3 force fed Tabasco
-Age 2 Thrown in pool by Stepdad
-Age 4-6 locked in room when parents screaming at one another
-Age 6 or 7 Witnessed mom throw a hairdryer at stepdad because he verbally abused her.
-Age 5 Fell off a table from dancing and broke my leg, my dad didn't tell my mom.
-Age 2-7 Forced to stay at the table (sometimes falling asleep) cause I couldn't finish my food.
-Age 7 Forced to eat chicken and dumplings and immediately threw it up (still can't eat It today)
-Age 7 Got laughed at by my whole elementary school class because we had to say our times tables in front of the class and I couldn't get past 5's. Sobbed in front of them all.
-Age 8 Moved across the country to a whole new state.
-Age 8 lived with a family friend for a year who had five other kids (add on myself and my three siblings) so there was not quiet ever for that whole year.
-Age 9 Cried in front of *that* class about math and being the new kid.
-Age 9 Got pressured by neighborhood kids into stealing from 7/11.
-Age 10 Got made fun of for having certain friends
-Age 11 Got made fun of in fifth grade for still playing pretend.
-Age 11, Almost lost friends cause I tried to convince them I was a real witch (damn you halloweentown and your influence).
-Age 12-14 Pervy PE teacher that made the girls all do squats and the boys do jumping jacks. Never the other way around.
-Age 13 A middle school science teacher is Arrested for child pornography.
-Age 13 Had a boy tell me that kissing me made him realize he was gay.
-Age 13: Become my science teachers' TA (different teacher than the one above). Mostly spend the time watching cash cab and Bill Nye in his room.
-Age 13 I received my first tiny acer laptop and start playing Webkinz online, club penguin, and Wizard 101. (Also looking for dates on there but I don't tell people that).
-Age 14 Got my first flip phone, add my friends' contacts for text. We don't have Internet yet.
-Age 14 Start playing around on Omegle. Where kids SHOULD NOT BE.
-Age 14 Met one of my best friends on Wizard 101 and cheated my bedtime and played more when I really should have been sleeping.
-Age 14 Read Twilight, got obsessed. Started my first babysitting gigs. Overpriced myself but they paid it so.
-Age 14 Best friend in person at the time was a really bad influence and decided to pretend she was possessed and drown me in a pool. I begged her to stop and she pretended that the demon in her left.
Okay it's about to escalate:
-Age 15 Tried out for my first play, it was hairspray. I wanted to be one of the leads. I could sing but I couldn't dance. I ended up a techy.
-Age 15 Had my first girl/girl relationship And I kiss her on Halloween and I like it and she says she likes it too. But then she has to break up with me cause she's Mormon and doesn't want to leave her church.
- Age 15 Gets into an online relationship with two British guys from Omegle who are definitely adults. Sent them underage nudes cause I didn't know better.
-Age 16 Said British guys decided to blackmail me with my nudes and threatened to post them online if I stopped meeting with them over cam. (I was regularly doing shit over cam with them. It was gross). Told my mom, she had no idea what to do. She just took away my phone and laptop for a while which??? Didn't do anything to help???
-Age 16 Started going out with my first in person boyfriend after we sang owl City at the same time and fell on top of one another on the theater stairs. LMAO it was so cringy.
-Age 16 Six months later I broke up with him over text by trying to scare him away by telling him I thought I was a fallen angel so he'd think I was crazy. (He was ignoring me a lot so I was done) Then I gaslit his friends and said he broke up with me. (I don't act like this anymore, teen me was WILD).
-Age 16 Pretended I was in a romance bdsm novel and handcuffed myself to my own dresser and had to make an excuse for my parents not to come in, so they wouldn't see me.
-Age 17 Met my current partner of 10 years over Tumblr, we started talking over messenger then skyping every day.
-Age 17 Parents kept fighting and stressing out younger siblings so I had to take them all to the park to get them out of the house.
-Age 17 Mom kept telling me that my partner over Skype was a 56 yr old man. (He looked 19 to me).
-Age 17 I finally got my own room.
-Age 17 I ended up trapped in my walk in closet while naked because there was a brown recluse in a power stance. I stayed in the closet for an hour until it moved.
-Age 18 We had to move to a house where we didn't have enough rooms for everyone so I was put into a makeshift room in the dining room where I had no privacy.
-Age 18 My partner visited for the first time.
That's where I'll stop. Holy hell. It feels good to go through it all. I'm sure there's more. But this is just some of the weird things that have happened over my childhood and teenhood lol. Not to mention everything that's happened in my adulthood. That'd be a whole novel. Maybe this is why I follow Loki because I've been through so much chaos š¤
#childhood#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd#eldest daughter#eldest daughter syndrome#queer story#personal story#personal post#personal#late night posting#might delete later#cringe
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Backyard Boy Part 6
Rodrick Heffley x Reader
Work count: 2.6k
Summary: You go on what is practically a date with Rodrick and maybe enjoyed his company too much, but on the other hand it seems like youāre finally getting around to try to squish whatever beef there is with Heather.
Part 6
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Talking to Heather wasnāt going to be as easy as Iād hoped.
I been too busy to avoid her to realize that she was also avoiding me, one would think because we share a class it wouldnāt be that hard but she sat on the other side of the classroom and the teacher wasnāt the type to assign group work. So for three straight days, my efforts were in vain, eventually I just decided to ambush her.
I decided to skip the rest of my classes after lunch and wait out in the parking lot, it was boring as hell and I was relieved when the final bell rang for the day. I hid behind another car and waited for Heather to exit the building, she was quick to leave and say goodbye to all her friends. She strutted her way to her car and once her back was turned to me I tapped her shoulder, she jumped and a panicked expression cane across her face.
āSorry! I didnāt mean to scare you, you just wouldnāt talk to me otherwise. Can we talk now? Iām sorry it took me so long to come say something.ā She turned to me and her expression was unreadable at first but quickly switched to anger.
āOh so now youāre ready? Well news flash Iām not, so leave me alone!ā
Heather huffed at me before climbing into her car and driving off, literally leaving me in the dust. I just sighed and ran a hand through my hair, this was going to be harder than I thought. I went back to my hiding spot and grabbed my backpack when I got a fright of my own, two hands grabbed my shoulder and whispered boo into my ear. I jumped and felt the hairs on my neck stand up. I turned around to see Rodrick snickering at my shrill scream and reaction, I rolled my eyes and lightly punched his shoulder.
āAsshole! I almost pissed my pants, did you have to scare me like that?ā
āYes, I absolutely had to! Your reaction was priceless, better than that sad puppy face you had before.ā He said as he patted my back and then slid his arm over my shoulder, I felt my face burn red and just turned away.
āOh, whatever, youāre still an ass though. What are you still doing here though? Figured youād be on the way to band practice right now?ā
āYeah I wish I was, but my mom wonāt let us practice until I get my algebra grade up. Sheāll kill me if I fail it again.ā He sulked and let his head rest against mine as he towered over me.
āWell, you wouldnāt be failing if you spent half your time practicing studying.ā
āI know but studying is no fun,ā he groaned before quickly pulling away and adjusting his posture. āSo I was uh wondering if you could well help me study?ā He tucked his hands deep in his pockets and avoided my gaze as much as possible.
āYeah sure, but weāre studying at your place. If we go to mine weāll end up watching a movie and never getting anything done.ā I said with a shrug as I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and walked to Rodricks van.
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āOkay, so our equation is 7x -8 = 4x + 19, whatās our first step?ā I said pointing to question 21 on the paper, Rodrick struggled more than I expected but was slowly getting the hang of it.
āAdd 8? Subtract 4x? One of those maybe.ā
āNot maybe thatās right, see I told you that youād catch on. Try solving the rest on your own youāve got this.ā
Rodrick glanced at me hesitantly but he started solving the rest of the problem on his own, he was very unsure and kept glancing at me for reassurance. Once he finished he slid his paper over to me and he had gotten the answer 9, I smiled and held my hand up for a high five. He seemed to relax a bit and his smile grew as he high fived me back, both our heads turned at the familiar creaking of his front door. In came his mom and brother, we rarely hung out at Rodrickās house so this was my first time seeing his little brother.
āHello Mrs. Heffley and little brother Heffley,ā I said though I eyed the brother a bit cautiously as Rodrick hadnāt had a single nice thing to say about him.
āOh hello there how are you..?ā Her eyes drifted to Rodrickās homework in front of me amd they narrowed, āRodrick! I canāt believe youāre having this poor girl do your homework, your dad is one thing I canāt believe you.ā Rodrick didnāt even bother defending himself and just lowered his head and looked away.
āHeās not maāam, Iām just helping him. He solved all these on his own actually.ā I said as I gave Rodrickās arm a squeeze, but his mom just shook her head and disappeared into the kitchen and the brother ran to his room.
āCan.. can we hang out at your place? Iām over studying, canāt we just watch a movie or something?ā He said standing up and tossing the homework sheet in his backpack haphazardly, my gaze softened and I nodded.
āI was getting bored too, come on. I think my dad brought home a scary movie the other day, we could watch that and eat some snacks?ā
Rodrick was eager at the idea we left his house and got into his van, first we went on a snack run. The inside of the convience store was chilly compared to the warm fall air that clung to the town, I strolled aimlessly through the aisles for anything that looked good. Rodrick was quick at deciding and had already started loading the counter with stuff. I just grabbed some chocolate, some chips, and an fruity drink. Rodrick had been avoiding my gaze for a while now but the tense air that lingered between us as we left the gas station was too much to handle, I had to say something.
āDoes she always act like that?ā
āW-what? What are you talking about?ā
āYour mom, does she always assume the worst of you like that? Youāre not the best at math but that doesnāt mean youāre forcing me to do your homework.ā He didnāt respond at first and just took a long sip of his drink as we climbed into the van.
āYeah, but itās not unwarranted. If I ever do turn in an assignment itās cause I get my dad to do it, so it makes sense she thinks Iām doing it to you too now.ā He slumped into his seat a bit as he looked out the window.
āBut she didnāt even want to believe it when I said you werenāt doing that she just walked off! Thatās not fair to you, you practice so hard on all those problems. You deserve at least some credit, youāre way smarter than you like to show they just canāt admit it.ā
āDo you really think so..?ā
āI know so! I didnāt even have to help you much really, all I did was help you remember which formulas to use. Just because you know them doesnāt mean you can use them right but you did, I only really had to correct one or two problems.ā Rodrick seemed a bit happier with my words and he smiled as he took one more long sip from his slushy, he out the keys in and started the car.
āOh whatever, if you say so.ā He said trying to feign he was uncaring but I hid my laugh as I could see the faint red tinting his cheeks and ears.
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I yawned as the movie flashed to the main character running desperately down a long hallway, I thought the movie wouldāve been more interesting but it was more of a romance than a horror movie. Rodrick on the other hand was fully entranced by the movie, he shoveled chips into his mouth uncaring of the mess he was making into the blanket on his lap.
I couldnāt help but admire his features, the faint bags present under his eyes, how unkempt but freshly taken care of his hair was, the rough outline of his jaw that became more prevalent as he chewed. I hadnāt even realized that I had reached out the brush some of his hair behind his ear, he glanced at me for a moment but quickly looked away not saying anything. I started to pull my hand away but he leaned into my touch, eyeing me out the corner of his eye as the tvās glow illuminated the faint pink tint on his cheeks.
I figured he didnāt want me to stop playing in his hair so I ran my fingers through the loose waves, he just leaned further and further into my touch. Eventually he rested his head hesitantly on my lap, both of us froze for a moment. This wasnāt the first time Rodrickās laid on my lap but before now it never felt as intimate as it did right now, thankfully Rodrick turned his head away to face the tv again. I felt my cheeks burning but I just let my hand venture back to his hair, it was soft and fluffy. I could tell he washed it recently and took good care of his hair, it was healthy and the soft almost silky feeling it had proved that. I tangled my fingers in his loose curls and watched as he eyes fluttered shut and a smile spread across his face, but I could also see the slight redness present on his cheeks.
The rest of the movie was a blur as I got lost in the auburn jungle that was his untamed mane of hair, Iām sure it was calming for him but it was also relaxing for me. To let my mind wander as my hand do its thing, and wander my mind surely did. I imagined a lot of things and toyed with the idea of Rodrick and I actually dating, it was a hard thought at first as I had no idea what it would be like to date him. But it wasnāt much different than what we do now, weād hang out a bunch, cuddle like this, and probably kiss. I brought my hand up to my lips as my cheeks burned red, I smiled at the thought. Rodrick hummed and turned to look at me, and I be lying if he didnāt look amazing staring up at me with droopy eyes and ruffled hair.
āMmmm, whyād you stop?ā
āIām sorry, I got distracted. Did you like it that much?ā He nodded and turned over yo look at me.
āIs it weird if I say yeah? I really donāt want you to stop?ā He averted his eyes and a shy smile spread across his lips.
āThen I wonāt stop, but I donāt think itās weird.ā
He just stared at me while I stared back at him, we werenāt sure or able to say anything else. Its like we were both frozen in time, Rodrick was the first to move he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my waist. I didnāt know what or how to respond but eventually I relaxed into his embrace and went back to combing my fingers through his hair, I couldnāt be sure if he felt the same way but this had to a sign thay he might.
Right?
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Rodrick went home not long after that much to his discontent but it was late and we had school in the morning. Though all morning Iād been kind of off after the dream I had last night, Rodrick and I were on a date amd things were going great but of course I woke up right before we kissed. Now Iām stuck in class day dreaming about actually kissing Rodrick, even though I was beyond certain his lips would be chapped. I shook away the thought and payed attention in class, though I wasnāt too worried math was my strong suit. I glanced over at Renatta who was not so subtly texting on her phone, I rolled my eyes with a smile but then I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out subtly and saw a text Fron Renatta, I looked up and she was looking back on me gesturing over to Heather. I was confused but looked back down at her text.
āHeather wants to talk to youā
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I know Iād been trying to talk to Heather all week but now that it was actually happening I was sweating bricks, she left class before I could say anything. So all I could do was wait until I did have the chance fo talk to her, though she continued to brush me off in halls. Saying sheād talk to me later or sheād turn and pretend not to see me, frankly it was confusing and pissing me off. I get she was mad but out of all the ways to go about things this was the most childish, and besides it was years ago and she had Renatta now! I just couldnāt make sense of it, and figured that things with Heather just werenāt going to get resolved. I tucked my notebooks inside my locker excluding my math one which I was bringing home so I could review for the quiz coming up, and knowing Rodrick he would probably need my notes considering he always falls asleep in class. I put on my backpack and shut my locker ready to head home when a certified blonde came into my peripheral, I turned and she stood in front of me arms crossed with an unreadable expression. The hall way was mostly empty at this point so I guess now would be an okay time to talk.
āI get youāre made that I blew you off for so long-ā
āIām not mad.ā Heather said matter-of-factly as she rasied her head up high.
āReally? It didnāt seem that way, you were blowing me off all day even though you said you wanted to talk.ā
āI was busy, and Iām here talking to you now arenāt I?ā I furrowed my brows, unsure of where this conversation was even going.
āOkayā¦ I get that we have history together and it was probably kind of a dick move to just ignore all that after we saw each other again but-ā
āIām going to stop you there, itās okay water under the bridge okay? The past is the past, this is now.ā
āSo weāre good?ā
āYeah, weāre good. So why donāt you come to my party this weekend, an olive branch if you will.ā Heather said with a smile appearing on her face, it was uncanny how calm and uncaring she was being.
āAn olive branch? Okay yeah sure, Iāll be there I guess.ā
āPerfect Iāll see you there then,ā she turned to leave her flipping her hair as she turned to leave but as she walked away she looked back looking me up and down. āOh, and make sure to wear something white.ā
With that Heather left and I was left kind of awestruck there in the hallway, I shook my head snapping myself back into reality. I thought that the entire interaction was odd but didnāt think much of it beyond that, I hugged my backpack tighter to me and left the building. I felt bad for keeping Rodrick waiting but he was in his own world beating his drum sticks against the steering wheel, I just snickered and opened the door. He left it unlocked for me and was startled when I hopped in next to him, he pulled down his headphones and flashed me a dopey smile. I couldnāt contain my own and the blush the grew on my cheeks, I was deeply infatuated with this goofball of a boy.
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#minawritesfanfic#reader insert#x reader#my writing#fanfiction#fluff#rodrick heffley x reader#doawk#doawk rodrick
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thank you L for encouraging me to share my dramatic life i think i will occasionally save these stories as i remember themāØ
starting off with "how the FUCK did no one catch on that i was autistic" a series of mini stories from like- elementary school.
so when i'm like 6, my mom got custody over me during the school year (we will get into when/why they weren't living together and got divorced in another story) and that meant i had to leave behind my old tiny small-town school where i spent kindergarten. a lot of schools have this like- open house thing where kids can see their new classrooms and such, and i was at this open house, sitting at a desk in my new classroom and not looking at the other things around the room. so obviously the teacher comes up and asks how i'm feeling, and i respond by looking at her VERY seriously and ststing that i was "very concerned" about the upcoming school year. small reminder, i was 6.
around 2nd grade was the time i got SUPER into pokemon. like i was utterly obsessed from the moment i watched a couple episodes on my mom's ipad before bed. i liked many pokemon, but if i had to pick one, i would have picked pikachu. my mom got me a small pikachu plushie as a tooth fairy prize (there's an interesting story there too, believe it or not) like about the size of a hamburger. i LOVED this pikachu plush (and still do) and carried it with me everywhere. i cuddled with it every night. i had a frantic meltdown any time i didn't know where he was. and that was my first comfort object. i kept carrying him with me up until like 6th grade, where i went to only taking him to things like therapy or doctor's appointments because those places are scary, yet i still need to know where he is to feel okay.
the second comfort object was this pikachu jacket my mom got me from target one day because i begged her to. as soon as i got home, i Immediately put it on and went to watch one of the pokemon movies with it zipped up, hood over my head, my knees to my chest. my mom still has a picture of me from that day. and good god, i wore that jacket EVERY day, carrying little figures around in the pockets, and NO ONE could get it off of me. even in the middle of midwest summer. and as such, it got super ratty and dirty, but i refused to let it get replaced until mom finally just had to do it because it was 'unsalvageable' as she put it. keep in mind, maybe somewhat odd but excuseable behavior for a young child, but i had this jacket up until 7th grade when my mom finally managed to wrestle it away from me and replace it.
i have more similar ones but this ask is getting godawful long, i'm cutting it off now lol.
-rainbow dash
L:
my god.. this is. very amusing.
i feel like any child with an oddly sophisticated vocabulary and an odd obsession with pikachu should automatically be suspected of having the autismā¢. it's just too on the nose at that point.
i guess i can use this as an excuse to relate and share some weird things i did as a child.
i think i brought up the mancala set i had before in another ask, but i don't know if i properly emphasized how much i really liked that game. because, i think when i was around 7, i met a girl who liked mancala as well, so we would only ever play that each time we saw each other. i wasn't good at talking to other kids my age, so playing together was the only way we could really have conversations. it was just easier to communicate through the game. but then one day, for a reason i can't remember, i got really mad at her halfway through a game, pulled the board to where she couldn't reach, and started playing the game by myself.
she then proceeded to stomp on my foot, say i was stupid, and she refused to play mancala with me ever again.
i'm not sure if that was proof i was autistic, but at the very least i knew it was when i realized i liked girls. so.
i suppose i haven't changed much.
Light:
Um.
I'm very sorry, but I can't relate...I'm very neurotypical, so.
But I did rather enjoy listening to both your life stories. RD, kudos to you for managing to weasel a little of Ryuzaki's back story out of him. I'm very proud of you for that.
And I'd love to hear more of your stories, RD! Feel free to share them anytime, or when you're comfortable too.
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Top 5 TV shows or Top 10 movies, your move.
Why not both?
Okay, Top Five TV shows first.
5: NCIS.
Loved that show, even though it's gone on too long (happy it outlasted Supernatural though.)
4: Castle.
It was a great show, especially since they let Nathan Fillion be such a retard XD.
3: Psych.
It's been too long since I saw this show, but oh how I love it.
2: Firefly.
Although it's got too many sex scenes for me to watch without skipping some parts, it's one, worth the Skip Button, and two, downright hilarious (the movie does not exist to me, I will FIGHT YOU over that.)
1: The A-Team.
My absolute childhood. My precious memories. The first love of my live action TV life.
To be serious, this show had it all, and the cast got an undeserved sidelining just because they accepted the roles and stories in it.
TOP TEN MOVIES, GO!!!
10: Thor.
Great movie, and an amazing introduction to Thor. Highly recommended.
9: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Honestly, the only reason this isn't higher is because I don't often sit down and watch it anymore. But it holds up incredibly well, and I'll always love it.
8: The Jungle Book.
I always loved this film, but it was never that high on my list. It still holds a special place in my heart, but not as high as others.
7: Pacific Rim.
The fact that only 20 minutes of the film actually has the Jaegers in it and fighting, and then kills them all at the end, is utterly criminal. I want more of Gipsy and his brothers killing monsters, but without the crap that's since seeped into the franchise, or without the self-aggrandising that happened a lot in between the battles.
6: Transformers: Age of Extinction.
Look, I know the Bayverse had its problems, and that Optimus wasn't written as well as he could/should have been. However, this film was the best of the movie 'verse, and was the ONLY adaptation to test Optimus' faith in humanity in a believable way, especially compared to his character assassination in Rise of the Beasts. Moreover, while his faith in humanity was tested, it didn't break; and frankly, when you consider all the Autobot lives lost in defense of Earth/humanity, you can really empathize with Optimus' doubts, especially because despite those doubts, he never actually grievously harmed a human. The one human kill he did make was in defense of another, which never struck me as wrong outside of the creators making a plot where that would happen (and even then, I was supremely grateful Optimus did that to protect Cade. Again, it's within his established characterization to preserve life, even if he hates taking a life to accomplish that goal.)
5: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
This is the best Star Trek film ever, and no one can change my mind. I will go to my grave a massive fan of the action, drama, and comedy in this show.
4: Rise of the Guardians.
I think this movie had a more positive effect on me than I realized. Grade A storytelling, and a pity we never got more out of DreamWorks for the film franchise.
3: A Muppet Christmas Carol.
This movie was perfect in so many ways. I love it, and it's the best adaptation of A Christmas Carol.
2: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.
I will never shut up about how good this movie is, nor will I accept haters of the film whining about it on my blog and I may write up my own third film for the movies but we'll see.
1: The Polar Express.
This movie is the epitome of perfection for Christmas movies. It's the story of how faith and belief goes beyond worldly reason and holds fast to what humanity deems impossible, but is the Truth, and I love it for that.
Thanks for the asks! This was fun!
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2/5/24
Okay I'm gonna be so for real? I haven't written a blog in literal years. I just thought someone out there could find this useful or comforting if I documented my transition. I'm in college right now and reader? This is not even my first try at transitioning. I have transphobic parents and I am terrified that they'll find out I'm transitioning in school. I'll talk more about that later. We've just met, let me be normal before I start divulging you into my anxiety. I'm a sophomore in college. If my school had frats I'd fit right in, not in an asshole way, if that tells you anything. Unfortunately I wasn't blessed with a passable face. I'm gonna level with you here reader, I'm not skinny either, further complicating my ability to fit in. I've been midsize since I was 9. I could blame it on a few different things. I got my first device when I was 9 and I was an art kid, not an athlete. I started puberty too and I have a hormone condition that's made the whole experience worse than it could've been. On the topic of said condition, it's the bane of my identity. I realized I'm not a girl in 4th grade. Between me and you, it's because I watched Ouran Highschool Host Club. Loser. I didn't know girls could be boys though. But then I started trying to come out to my mom. Never my dad, he was not an emotionally sensitive guy. At first she'd just blame it on my period and starting my period so young. It isn't untrue that I got my period kind of young, I was 9. I think it's unfair to treat that like it discredits my identity.
But I digress, I'm getting kind of distracted. I found out I have PCOS when I was 13 or 14, I don't really remember anymore. If you don't know, the simple explanation is that cysts grow on my ovaries and my testosterone is too high. Sounds awesome right? I would only be so lucky. It makes me sad and angry and I break out all over my body and my periods are like I'm being ki11ed. Because of this, my mom blames my PCOS for me saying I'm trans? Dude...I'm 20 now. I've been dealing with this bullshit for 6 years now. It's definitely not the hormone condition. I quit birth control last year and got an IUD at the beginning of this school year. Best decision I've made for my body but I'm gonna be honest? Careful with hormonal birth control. It brainwashed me into acting like a woman and I am being so very serious when I say that. The point of saying all that though is that being trans is complicated. It's okay to change your mind a few times.
Moving on. I've realized the easiest part of transitioning is telling your professors your preferred name. Lightwork, no reaction. Fitting in and passing? That's where the challenge has presented itself. Some things I've learned about men
They keep everything in their front pockets?? Wallet sometimes in the back pocket but usually not.
WIDE STRIDE. It doesn't matter if they're tall or not. I'm a short king if you will. I cannot keep up with guys the same height as me. They step so wide and for what.
Hands in the pockets!!! And you know what? I started walking with my hands in my pockets and feel like it's made me look more masculine
Stop waving at people, just nod at them???
I will admit I can't figure out what the situation where it's okay to dap someone up is. I'm also autistic which has complicated my ability to discern such things. I'll keep you posted on that one. I imagine you're wondering why it sounds like I'm trying to fit in with straight men. That would be because I kind of am. I'm a criminal justice major, which is a department in my school that's dominated by athletes. I hate to stick out I thought I liked being different but I actually don't like when people are staring at me. It's uncomfortable and I feel like the longer they stare the more feminine traits they'll notice and the facade of manhood will be clear as glass to them. Yeah anyway that's all for today, I'll probably post again in like 3 days or a week idk. I'll try not to be so disorganized next time.
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I was three years old when 9/11 happened and I wasnāt exactly following world events at the time so obviously when I was very little I had no awareness of what it was or what had happened. But I was homeschooled and EXTREMELY sheltered until grade 6 (like, I first learned what Google was in the sixth grade in 2008, I had no access to the internet, we didnāt watch the news, the only way I knew anything about the world was through random nonfiction kids library books my parents vetted). I started public school for the first time in Grade 6, and idk why but 9/11 didnāt come up that year. But the next year, on the anniversary of 9/11, one of the other teachers came in to talk to us about it and the scope of the tragedy etc etc I donāt remember too many details. Except. EXCEPT. He never once mentioned what 9/11 actually was. He just assumed everybody obviously knew. He did not mention planes explicitly, I think he only mentioned the world trade centre once, he mostly talked about Scale and Tragedy and everyone around me was nodding and I already got bullied for other things I was sheltered about so I didnāt want to raise my hand and go āHey what is that. Like, what happened. What is 9/11.ā I didnāt even realize 9/11 was a reference to the date, I thought it was a title of some sort?? Like 7/11. Like oh, there used to also be a 9/11 but then something happened to the world trade centre (which I still didnāt know what that was but I imagined it as a really big mall)
I donāt think I ACTUALLY learned what 9/11 was until Osama bin Laden died when I was in the 8th grade and I said I thought it was in poor taste everyone was celebrating this random guyās death and my friends went ā??????? Okay but he did 9/11?????ā And I was like okay?? I donāt think closing a mall is a heinous enough crime to celebrate his death but whatever. And thatās when someone finally told me
#sorry I just remembered this out of nowhere#for whatever reason the jfk assassination Lana del rey video made me think about 9/11 and it brought me here#I was one of those kids who was selectively smart. I was very booksmart but was very dumb about anything not academic
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for the get to know the author asks!!! 3, 6, 11, 18, 23, 25. i know thats a lot so feel free to pick and choose haha
p.s. i am LOVING your jaytim week works!! ive gushed in the comments but i really am having a blast reading everything that youve shared so far <3
ASLKDJFALSDKJ omg thank you!!! I'm so flattered that you want to know that much about me actually, cause I never shut the fuck up so this is going to be long š And thank you SO much abt the jaytimweek fics!!! I worked so hard on them š also!!! what's your ao3 username? I usually recognize my serial commenters (and as you probably know sometimes have full conversations with them) so let me know which one is you, if you're comfortable!!
Also, I answered all of these so I'm putting it under a read more because it is. So much lmaoooo
3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?
I write favorite scenes first- usually there's an idea that gets stuck in my head or a bit of dialogue and that hits the page first. Then that spirals into other thoughts I have to write down, until I have something that actually resembles a plot and has the beginning and the climax of the story. (For Know yourself it was chapter 1, then a scene from chapter 8, then the scene where they finally get together, then the scene where they fall asleep watching star trek for the first time, then a bunch of scenes I ended up having to cut. For Rooftops and Bookshops, it was chapter 1, then them getting together, then the scene in the breakroom, then the scene where Tim gets drunk.)
Then for a longfic I take my plot to the corkboardā¢ļø and sort it out, and then I start writing in order. Usually, I end up completely rewriting the scenes I wrote beforehand as I go along, and sometimes I end up replotting the whole thing. Then I work on it chapter by chapter until I get to the end, but I usually along the way I keep writing scenes for future chapters when inspiration hits!
6) something you would go back and change in your writing that itās too late/complicated to change now?
Honestly? All of rooftops & bookshops. I would rewrite the entire thing and change absolutely none of the plot or dialogue. It's just... the rest of the writing. God. It seems so rushed to me now? something something I've improved as a writer, but like. I would rewrite it if that wasn't so much work. And also, whenever I say that I hate it people rage at me, so. fine. I guess it stays. š
11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?
Actually, plotting. I've been writing since I was in the third grade, and it took me FOREVER to realize that the reason I never finished anything was because nothing had a plot. Like, within the last 4 or 5 years I bought a book called Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell after listening to a writing podcast (No Write Way with VE Schwab) where Marie Lu (I think) recommended it, and suddenly, it wasn't just that I could write, it was that I couldn't stop writing.
18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?
Oh I get to talk about actual books!!! akdfalskdjfkj YES!!
Vicious by V.E. Schwab and the Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey, but honestly anything by either of them is amazing. The way both of them write is just so. SO. ASLKDFALSKDJ. For me, they both scratch the itch for sci-fi and characters that are incredibly fucked up but justified and logical and their prose is just perfect, especially when it comes to lines that just fucking slap. Sincerely, I don't have any fic recs for this one. Just book recs lmaooo
23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?
LMAOOOO okay so specifically when it comes to writing in this fandom, I have a lot of life experiences that have helped me write what I write, especially when it comes to writing Tim. Some of them are not so fun (<- overachiever perfectionist who thinks they need to do everything by themselves), but some of them are funny so we'll talk about those.
I have a coffee problem. Like, I know off the top of my head that the FDA recommends that a healthy adult doesn't ingest more than 400 mg of caffeine a day (I try not to ingest more than 384 mg a day), and you would overdose around 1200 mg of caffeine a day. I use this fact at least once a month when someone expresses concern about my caffeine intake, and I did not have to google that, just ask my girlfriend š
Also, I have severe insomnia, which predates the coffee problem. Usually, I average 5-6 hours of sleep on a good night, but I can go about 5 days straight getting between 2-4 hours of sleep before I have to do a night with at least 6 hours. I am intimately familiar with what running on that little sleep looks like. I once was not able to sleep for 4 days! So also, I know what that looks like! I have gone over 40 hours without sleep within the past four months! It just. happens. Like, at some point in the night the calculation stops being "how much sleep am I going to get if I fall asleep right now" and starts being "if I do sleep, will I be more tired than if I just don't?"
And it is such a useful reference when it comes to writing any of the bats, but especially Tim š
That also helps because in the time I am not sleeping, I am usually reading or writing. I'm a huge reader and that really has helped me. There's that one quote that's like "a person can be an expert in any field if they put 10,00 hours into studying it", and I have put in my 10k hours. If you write, reading is basically a part of the job.
25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that youāre particularly proud of
YES YES YES OKAY SORRY THEY'RE ALL BUMMERS BUT I'M SO PROUD OF THESE BITS. THE FIRST ONE ISN'T IN ANYTHING AS OF RIGHT NOW, THE SECOND ONE IS IN MY JAYTIMWEEK PIECE FROM TODAY, AND THE REST ARE FROM KNOW YOURSELF!!
Tim was his own worst critic. It was just self-defense, something heād picked up while he was learning how to stay alive.Ā Heād learned how to slip binds, and how to take a hit, and how to be so harsh on himself that whenever someone found a new hurtful thing to say to him, it was the second time heād ever heard it, because heād already thought of it first.
But the strangest thing is how everyone believes Jason anyways. Just like that.Ā Then again, Dick is backing him up, so of course they believe him.Ā EveryoneĀ believes Goldie, all of the time. He just flashes that gorgeous smile like a fucking master key, and Jasonās always been a tiny bit jealous that everyone else turned out so goddamn endearing.Ā
But apparently, his body had been hiding that instinct somewhere:Ā Jasonās angry. Defend yourself.Ā
Heād done what he did best: tried to freeze over his white-hot anger, and still managed to be surprised when the ice cracked and steam shot out.Ā
Now he knew Tim wasnāt just some kid who slipped into his life like it was a suit that fit him better.Ā
This was what he did. He wrecked things. He couldnāt be trusted with anything delicate or valuable, because heād crush it in his clumsy, blood-stained hands.
This was so much fun!!! Thank you for popping into my inbox and giving me a chance to ramble for a while, I had such a blast!!!
#š« this-was-a-terrible-idea#batsasks#bibatrambles#ASKDFLKJ SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG ALSO#I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!!#AND IT WASN'T JUST INSANE RAMBLING AT 3 AM!!!
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I've been wanting to do this but I'll just do it all together :)
1. weight- 185, chest- 41.2, waist-34.0, hips-44.0, thighs- 28.0
2. 5'5, yes im totally okay with my height tbh
3. we have a very similar body type so i feel like it's the most realistic for me
4. tbh just losing my dd boobs that's it.
5. im tired of being the big and ugly friend, i owe it to my young chubby self to finally be pretty.
6. define binge lol. to me if I eat normally i define that as binge. but tbh I don't think I actually binge idk.
7. yes they do, however they don't know how far I'm willing to go. but they don't. they're actually happy I am.
8. i would do cardio 3 times a week, and then do core 2 times a week, but now im doing chloe ting workouts so :))
9. 100% all the time, I've hears it ever since grade school tbh, and it's literally ruined who I am and my relationship with food.
10. i guess my love for baking, it's been really hard baking for my friends and family and not having the opportunity to have these things yk.
11. lol i don't have one hahaha.
12. hmm that's a good question, i usually stick to fruits i try to stay away from meat and dairy, however it's not always easy. but for a good day, I'll have my black coffee in the morning and then like a garden salad in the afternoon.
13. definitely unhealthy lmao, I will starve myself until I lose as much weight as I can.
14. 120lbs, it used to be 140 but that's how much my sis weighs and I wanna be smaller than her
15. I'm neither but I seriously am considering going vegetarian bc I didn't eat meat for 3 days and lost literally 7lbs so I just might.
16. I've always tried to lose weight, yk go on a diet, work out, however this year I realized I was going to go on vacation and I needed to look pretty for my pictures so I decided to go back to my old habits and I triggered my ed, it took some time like 2 months until eventually in the end of March I started thinking the same way once again. I would starve and calculate calories.
17. im not sure. I don't want to say yes since I'm not diagnosed, but I will say I have disordered eating 100%.
18. cheese. ik ppl are gonna scream, but I love it so much lol.
19. hmm actually a while back I think like a couple weeks ago maybe I month.
20. ballerina diet ahhh or maybe the iu diet.
21. triggered. lol I'm usually a L/XL for jeans I'm a 14. bra size is 38DD.
22. damn idk bruh, I remember when I used to be 160, that's the lowest number I can remember, that's when I started weighing myself and it ruined me. I don't remember gaining weight tbh, I think it was when I was recovering.
23. absolutely. growing up I watched eugenia a lot and i loved kpop in ms so I would always wonder what it would be like to be skinny like them.
24. uh i don't like them, but that's me personal. I'm not someone to encourage this illness to someone else.
25. yes. I've done it multiple times. my first time was at a party actually. I had eaten 3 slices of pizza and my stomach hurt rlly bad I had told my friend and she told me she'd find me laxatives or smth I told her no. so I hard searched up what to do and I found a reddit form about purging I did exactly that and threw up as much as I could. it was so bad I was crying bc I felt to bad but my stomach felt better. I think that's when I realized I could enjoy my food but also not consume calories.
26. CLOTHES. finally getting to wear what I want and look pretty no matter what. ugh I can't wait.
27. i try to slip into a mentality of like food isn't fuel it's trash, and it's gonna make you rot.
28. I'd love to, i want to lose as much thigh fat as possible I don't think i could think bc of my family genes
29. anything but me. I don't think beauty can be defined. to me beauty is a subjective what is beautiful to me is not beautiful to you.
30. im hispanic. i have curly hair. im bi. i have a gf. i like to bake. i can't swim. i have insomnia. i have social anxiety. i love kpop. coffee is my bsf.
#bonespĆø#ed but not sheeran#i wanna be thinner#tw ana shit#ana and mia#st@rve#i wanna be perfect#tw ana diary#tw ana fast#i want to be small#skinsp0#tw ed diet#tw ed implied#tw restrictive ed#eating disoder trigger warning#tw disordered eating
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I accidentally took a two hour nap this afternoon so now I feel very much not ready for bed and also daylights savings continues to confuse my body. So it's after 10 and I'm just starting this.
I had a good day though! Just busy. I slept a little better last night. But waking up was super hard. I would get out of bed and found myself just with a stiff neck and feeling really tired. I was just moving really slow.
James had jury duty today. So they would leave right after me. I wore the wrong jacket and would be very cold. But it was fine. The car would be warm enough.
I stopped for breakfast and went over to the museum.
We had a highschool tour first thing. None of us realize it was an extended tour. So once the school was there we were like. Okay!! Add in transportation and pharmacy. And it was fine. They were such good kids. Some of the other groups apparently weren't very chatty but our little group was and they were really fun. Had excellent questions and made me laugh. At once point in the begining I asked them what industry meant and they were all quiet and one goes "guys!! We gotta get this!! Our teacher is gonna kill us!!" And it was just so funny.
We didn't have much time after the tour to grab a drink. Because we had a 1st-3rd grade tour right away. We don't normally have tours for that age. And it was funny jumping right into that from 11th graders. It was a nice tour though and the kids were super sweet. I also liked the teachers a lot. They were Monasori kids so I was looking forward to seeing how they approached balls and track later one.
We would have a break for lunch. I ate my sandwich and worked on my knitting. I would finish my first ball of yarn before the end of the next program.
And the kids enjoyed building. But also just watching me knit. Kids are so funny though asking if I can give them my project when I am done. And I'm like. I'm not going to be done before you leave?? Silly geese.
They would soon leave me. After a visit to the car. And I would sit in the back talking to Gaby and Mubtasin about toy collecting and how stupidly expensive thrift stores have gotten. And then I had to go.
I went to get pizza at 711. And then drove to my rhumatologist for my appoint.
And everyone there is so nice the woman at the front desk is always so lovely to me. The doctor is great. The medical assistant. The woman who does the injections. The only person who gives me weird energy is the phlebotomist. She just seems so annoyed at me every time and I don't understand it.
At least the nice guy who checked me in last time was there. And I got to show him my art and we talked for a bit. And then the doctor came in and she said she isn't to worried about my nose but wants me to get set up with a new dermatologist anyway so this is a good time to start working on that. And then it was time to get some blood taken. Which again. Weird energy. She also said I was dehydrated and my blood was moving slow. So I gotta be more mindful of that next time I get blood taken I guess.
The injections went just fine. Quick. Only a little pain. My one leg bled a lot for some reason but it was fine. I set up my next appointment and headed out.
I got really really tired in the drive home. I drank all my water. And had a snack and made it back in one piece but man was I tired.
I would get inside and get in bed and wait for James to come home. They did not get picked to be on a jury. And would lay in bed with me for a few minutes. Eventually I fell asleep.
They woke me up around 6. And I was very disoriented. But I was okay. I had a salad and a vegetarian chicken patty for dinner. And made two more bear designs.
Auni suffered a make one based on a former congresswoman that was known for her hats. And so I did that. And made an old bay themed one too. It was fun. Eventually I would move to the studio to try to cast some bears. I'm still struggling getting my resin to set consistently. But we will keep trying.
Brandon came over tonight. And we talked for a bit while I worked on my knitting. And now James and Brandon are watching a show and I'm hanging out with Sweetp and texting with Laura about America-core and it's very funny to me. I hope she comes back to camp this year.
Tomorrow I have my first class at the hospital! I hope it's fun. And then I have my meeting with the craft castle. Fingers crossed cause I think it could be really great!! Goodnight everyone! Be safe!!
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End of the Year Questionnaire!
Saw some End of the Year questionnaire thing going around and wanted to do it. If anything for myself as a way to review this year.
1. Song of the year? Alestorm ~ P.A.R.T.Y.
No brainer here. This song has been living rent free in my head for the last 7 months since its release. š¤š»
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2. Album of the year? Dragon Ball Z: Movie 8 - Broly The Legendary Super Saiyan
Not new by any means, but dang watching this movie again this year and hearing that early 2000's American metal soundtrack. Ingredients for an EPIC childhood right there. š¤š»šš¤š»
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3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Alestorm ~ The pirate power metal band
Pirate Metal is the genre I didn't realize I needed in my life until I heard them.
4. Movie of the year? Dragon Ball Z: Movie 8 - Broly The Legendary Super Saiyan
Again, not new, but I rewatched it for the first time in YEARS and it was just as glorious, if not more so, than the last time I watched it. That 1993 animation and again, the English dub metal soundtrack hit me HARD! Broly's still my favorite DBZ villain even if he's non-canon. The idea of an bloodthristy evil Saiyan, let alone an incredibly powerful Legendary Super Saiyan, is such an interesting concept.
5. TV show of the year?
I rarely watch TV outside of anime... might have to go with the new My Hero Academia season. The non-stop action and fight scenes has been very welcome.
6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?
Nothing stands out at this moment... but to go along with the previous answer, there was that one episode where Mirko kicks the ever living daylights outta those disgusting freakazoid Nomus in MHA was pretty dang cool! Go, bunny! š
7. Favorite actor of the year? Nobody!
I don't idolize people. That way I can't be disappointed when they inevitably let me down. š
8. Game of the year? The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (PC PORT)
Technically an unofficial re-release, BUT without a doubt this is my GOTY. Absolutely freakin' phenomenal. It's objectively the BEST video game ever created finally freed from it's console shackles on PC Master Race. Seriously, 60 fps, true widescreen, gyro support, restorations, gameplay enhancements, built-in randomizer, mod support, RESHADE, you name it. Fans always treat Nintendo's games better than Nintendo and this clearly shows it. Bless the team behind the Ship of Harkinian port. They made a lot of dreams come true this year.
9. Best month for you this year?
Every month I draw breath is a good one!
10. Something that made you cry this year?
HA! I don't cry, but no seriously I feel like there was something I watched this year that made me teary-eyed, but I can't remember... Oh, well, must've not been that important then!
11. Something you want to do again next year?
Play more old games. š®
12. Talk about a new friend you made this year.
I don't make new friends, BUT my best friend I haven't seen since 9th grade of high school visited me in person for the first time in nearly 13 YEARS! Let me tell you something, best friends are the ones that will never fade over time and will always be there. That's amazing and I'm lucky to have 'em! š¤
13. How was your birthday this year?
I aged. Another reminder of my fleeting mortality. š
14. Favorite book you read this year?
I don't read books. š«š
15. Whatās a bad habit you picked up this year?
I don't do bad habits.
16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year.
Jan 13th, 2022. My first Sims screenshot of the year. Deadpool staring at the camera while lightsaber dueling one of my Miqo'te OCs.
17. Post a picture from the end of the year.
Dec 6th, 2022. Aaand my last screenshot of the year... is a smug shirtless Sasuke. Well okay.
18. A memorable meal this year?
Pizza š (probably the one I shared with my long time friend if I'm going to be sappy about it.)
19. Whatāre you excited about for next year?
Playing more video games.
20. Whatās something you learned this year?
By far the biggest lesson I learned is new things suck! Nothing is better than the old stuff. Games, shows, all of it. Too many remakes/ reboot cash grabs that are shameful in comparison to the classics.
21. Whatās something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?
Nothing. It's exactly the same. Just the way I want it. WELL I might have a few more anime figures and a Monokuma plush that I didn't have before...
23. Favorite place you visited this year?
Wait... did I leave my house this year?
24. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
"I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."
25. Did you keep any New Yearās Resolutions?
Play more old games. š Yeah, I did and I want to play MORE! š¹ļø
26. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year?
I assume this means OC's... Well uhh, I made a lot of sims recreations, not many OC's. I guess I just don't have a lot of "original" creativity! Oh, but there was that werewolf girl I designed. She's cool!
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Helloooooo all
I just decided to do this as a way to track the vair vair many books Iāll be reading this year. Gonna kick it off soon with a dual summary/response to Louise Rennisonās Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging; and Itās Okay, Iām Wearing Really Big Knickers (AKA On The Bright Sode, Iām Now The Girlfriend of a Sex God in the US). I was hit with a giant wave of nostalgia as of late, and to combat that, decided to reread some books I havenāt touched in about a decade. Possibly closer to 2 decades. A lady never reveals her age, but I can for certain say all those partying in your 30s memes are absobloodylutely accurate.
Some responses to look forward to:
Little House on the Prairie series
Little Women
The Bell Jar
Witch Child/Sorceress
And many many more.
Why am I doing this? Well for starters, the nostalgia is a big thing. Secondly, when the ol pandemo aka Rona lockdown happened, I purchased a Kindle and started reading just about everything I could get my hands on to fill up the time. I worked 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, in to work at 6 am, out by 11 am. So I would have a lot of hours to kill, and only some of the could be spent stopping at the grocery store to marvel at how apocalyptic everything was and to see about getting some fresh damn fruit while making a supplies run for my lovely elderly neighbors. Then I would walk to my favorite local brewery, grab a couple to-gos and if I was lucky, it would be about noon by the time I got home. If I was unlucky, it would only be 11:30 and Iād have EVEN MORE TIME TO KILL.
During the entirety of 2020, I read over 200 books. Some of these are just a blur now, unfortunately, but never fear, itās time for a reread of some, and I started thinking about why I spent so much time reading. I have a huge family, money was/is tight, I had a high reading proficiency (hellllloooo and much love and support to all my fellow gifted and talenteds who were reading at a college level in third grade, weāll get through), books are plentiful, can be passed around to a family, cable was expensive and letās face it, my older siblings just wanted to watch MTV.
Iāve ALWAYS read. I once was married to a reallllllll winner of a man from 2014-2015, who thought it was uncool and weird and that reading was dumb and because I was a reader who spent valuable funds on bits of paper, I didnāt reflect the image of āultimate rockstar party personā that he wanted to exude. He would call me lame when I would want to just hang out and read versus hang out and watch him play guitar terribly, or watch a movie, or watch his friend play a video game. It angered him that I can multitask and tune things out when I wanted to focus on my book. There were a lot of other things but when we broke up, he ripped up a book I had from my late grandpa about Shoeless Joe that Field of Dreams was based on, and I realized how awful he was. Ah, how great is it to look back on poor life choices.
I was also a lonely and strange child, and books gave me something to do, to immerse myself in them. I read my first chapter book at 6, The Boxcar Children. I read wild weird wonderful stories while my parents worked, my older sibs did homework, and also because reading wasnāt something I had to share with my tyrant of a little sister. I had friends, but nothing deep. I would go to the library a couple times a week for books. Overall, I like to think Iām on the path to being a lovely old lady who reads with her cats in front of a cozy fire on a rainy evening. (On a serious note, I do have a boyfriend and heās wonderful)
Anywhooooooos sorry this is so rambly and odd. Iāve never done anything like this before, so letās get to it.
Iāll update as soon as Iām finished with Itās Okay, Iām Wearing Really Big Knickers (gotta love double books! Itās 2 books for the price of 1!) with an update.
Until then, pip-pip, toodle oooh.
Xoxo, Christie
P.S. Did anyone else reread the Gossip Girl series and that other spinoff with Jenny Humphrey going to boarding school? I think I may add those to the list. If we start getting into manga, Iāll be screwed financially. Sailor Moon mangas have gotten suuuuuper expensive. Inuyasha as well.
P.P.S. I think Iām going to like this a lot.
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Never Let Me Go Ep 8 Live Blogging
Another Tuesday
Ep 8: Life
Part 1
what the fuck cuteass boyfriend montage qlfjsjkjd with this music bg theyāre so cute TT
ah the scene from the trailer about the humans being split in two
stop saying Khun Nueng while youāre playing boyfriends, letās get another AiāNueng pls pls
Never Let Us Go hat where Nuengās like agh figure out the answer to the āUsā yourself
debtors after Palmās mother and the police questioning Palmās father
the Chopper holding his palm over Benās mouth is so awkward
damn an apology from Aun after finally realizing that his actions of sending photos of Ben kissing nueng and outing him actually hurt Ben. Wai and Thua our supposed friends couldnāt.
Palm confronting his mom about whether she actually loves him and why she left them. āIām sorry I love myself more than I love youā rip this is why I shouldnāt and donāt want to have kids
āYou will understand when life forces you to choose between you duty and your heartā
I hope their mother-son relationship continues to grow from here on out :< Palm missed out on so many years
Part 2
oh Maggie has found them
pls Nuengās eyes squinting just a little when Maggie said the hostel is cute and him just watching her and Palmās conversation lol
naurrr ep 8 and PalmNueng (temp) boyfriends is too late for us to get Maggie and Palm montage or cute moments
lmfao shouldāve just let the camera go
āItās good that he got to protect someone other than meā oh NuengDiao you dumbass
oh Maggie figured out Palm likes Nueng good for her
ābut I have a bright personality, so people misunderstood that I flirted with youā people being Nueng
pls Ben talks so callously to Chopper knowing that Chopper likes him. āIn grade 10 I didnāt think you were good lookingā āI was never your typeā
girl Ben straight up asking Chopper if he still likes him pls okay
I just donāt like Benās way of handling things why tf is he all smiling and asking āwould you still have feelings for me?ā Also, this means they both knew why Chopper and Ben stopped interacting, so why was there a vibe of ohh I'm ben and idk why you stopped interacting with me chopper
Part 3
they fr took Palmās mom
Linguistics: itās fun that Palmās mom calls Nueng gu-meung but Nueng refers to her with Pom and -krab. donāt think thereās another relationship like this with Nueng
Part 4
hmmm very cute, though a bit casual for love confessions
oh they take it to bed? bruh i canāt see anything bc I turned my brightness so low when they started kissing cuz iām at school
Rewatch: I rewatched it at home and ooh Nueng taking off Palm's shirt and pushing him back on the bed, okayy
Got spoiled on before watching:
Chopper previously confessed to Ben
Overall Thoughts:
Good but I'm kinda not super attached right now, idk. I wonder if I would've liked this one if I binged it. It's like fine and good and I smiled a lot while watching but I feel like I should be more attached or think about it more.
Fave Scene:
The first boyfriend montage with Palm and Nueng >.<
Ben saying that Aun outing him really hurt him
Posts I made
None
Most viewers that I saw per part during the premiere:
didn't track this
12 hours laterĀ
Part 1: 565k || 2: 398k || 3: 343k || 4: 397k
Avg: 425k
Views TrackingĀ (just because Iām curious):Ā
Ep 1 - 1: 2.2M || Avg: 1.35M || Max Part: 1
Ep 2 - 1: 1.4M || Avg: 1.1M || Max Part: 1
Ep 3 - 1: 1.2M || Avg: 1.031M || Max Part: 1
Ep 4 - 1: 1.4M || Avg: 1.090M || Max Part: 1
Ep 5 - 1: 1.2M || Avg: 1.084M || Max Part: 1 (also part 3 with kiss has almost same views bc of NuengPalm kiss)
Ep 6 - 1: 1.3M || Avg: 1.101M || Max Part: 1
Ep 7 - 1: 1.2M || Avg: 1.068M || Max Part: 4 (bc of NuengPalm kiss - slightly higher than part one
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